Love Letter To You

HEY GUYS,
it has been a while since I wrote something here. I was quite busy and I did not have that much of efforts to write things here. So today I guess I will make another love letter <3.
so let us start haha...

DEAR MOM,

 I don't know if this would reach you and I am sure it would not. But I hope right now there were angels who were witnessing me writing this letter just to send this message to you. It has been a while mom. I miss you so much, I really do. Back then when I am still studying, coming back home were a perfect bliss and heaven to me. your cooking, your sweet tea, your voice, the way you sat down on the table looking at us eating, you asked if your food is good or not, how you always be there in times when we were sick, how you raised us, how you saved food for us, how you always ask us if we have eaten or not...I miss all of that mom.

I remember on that day, I was otw to our rented room from the school,that Wednesday 6th of may 2015. I got a call from my cousin, saying that if I can go back home as soon as possible. I was at tawau back then. my first thought, "Is dad gone?" I was so scared, yet I knew something is wrong... then he said that YOU were acting different, that you show things that people with near dead experiences shown... I was shaking too much. I am on my way to the airport, and brother called me, saying that Mom were not that strong anymore and there were 50/50 chances she could live. I am shaking a lot more.

The moment ass soon as I reached the airport I opened the family group whatsapp. They were saying that you already gone. I was devastated. so much devastated that it broke my heart up until now. I have never felt this way before and I would not feel it again with others. Losing you was the biggest lost that I have ever felt mom. My journey on the plane was crushing. I reached home that night. Only GOD knows how much it broke me from within seeing you laying there without your soul. My mom, My mom who always scolded us, whom I always talked with, Whom raised me since I was a little boy. My Mom, My Mom is not moving anymore. at that moment I asked you, why did you leave us that early mom..

I was crying all night. everytime they wipes those blood that came out from your nose, I was crying like a little baby I was.. I remember going to the bathroom to shower, I was crying so much and started calling you just to remember the feelings when you can still talked to us...I still needed you, Dad still needed you, we still needed you. it took me a life time to live without your presence... I did not even managed to repay you for what you have done. remember we have all those plans to do after I get my job. and now you're gone. We were so much crushed. I am so much crushed up until now. This home were not home without you.. I hated it, just because it doesn't feel like home anymore.. But again, there's nothing as beautiful as Allah's plans towards His servants. He loves you more..

May we meet in Jannah Mom. You deserved it. Rest will love...